The big day has finally arrived; day 1 of DefCon 22! Weíve been planning for this event all year and Iím intensely psyched. All of my friends will be there, cramming our brains with the latest innovations, learning industry secrets from leading techno-gurus. My new phone app should be a bit hit and Iím going to show it off to the gang when we meet up at the Rio hotel in a few hours. At the moment Iím sitting at the kitchen table with Aiden (aka Darkstar), my best bud and roommate, gulping down crappy coffee while going over the itinerary for the next few days; for sure weíll check out the vendor area and hit every speaker possible in order to learn from the worldís greatest hackers. ìHey Seth, do you think Mandy will be at the show this year?î Aiden asks me quietly while tinkering with his dismembered iPod. This is the first year the guy didnít develop something amazing. Last year he crafted the coolest video game with crazy dragons and mystical wizards, it was really wicked. Poor guy, itís been a tough year, after the breakup and all. ìNah I doubt sheíll show up. Computers are your thing, not hersî I tried my best to ease his mind. ìFinish your coffee and letís get going, we donít want to miss a thing.î Arriving at the hotel we could see an ocean of nerdy dudes wearing Batman and Star Wars t-shirts. For once I was glad that I chose to wear my blue plaid button down shirt. It makes me feel a little more dressed up and the ladies say this color makes my eyes ëpopí - whatever that means. Looking around I also noticed a lot of tall, thin, blonde people wearing identical green polo shirts, actually the more I study them I realize that they all really look alike. Aiden notices it too ìWhatís this? An albino family reunion?î One of the female white-heads overhears the comment and immediately turns our way, approaching us in more of an icy glide than actual human footsteps. I size her down then up, finding her body pleasingly long and slender with a small waist and shapely hips. My eyes meet hers to find a black glare showing no emotion. Before speaking she reaches out and grabs Aidenís arm as he stares, mouth agape, as if he were paralyzed. Iím not sure if heís scared or in love. ìHey what are you doing? Let him go!î I say loudly. Her gaze returns to meet mine as I feel a chill run up my spine. ìI am Sasha. I work for The DefCon. What is your purpose here? You must come with me nowî she demands, coldly, as she eyes our overstuffed techie briefcases. ëTheí DefConÖ Iíve never heard it referred to in that way and find her tone menacing. When I notice her hand stretching out towards my own arm my body instinctively steps backwards. Pulling Aiden from her clutches I push him into a run to get away from the crazy cyborg chick. After we check-in at the Rio and get the keys to our rooms I reach into my pocket for my cell phone only to discover a number of text messages from the gang already at the hotel. We better get going. The elevator carries us to the 15th floor where we stroll down the corridor to rendezvous with our comrades. A nudge on my ribs causes me to look up and forward to spot a lanky light haired man wearing a green polo shirt walking towards us, the male version of Sasha. His black eyes aim at us like a gun, creeping me out, so I grab Aidenís arm and we make a run for it once again. Room 1543ís door is propped open with a shoe so we enter. Our friends are there; Ryker (aka The Captain), Jayce (aka Titan) and Britta (aka Blonddragon) the only female in our nerdy clan. Everybodyís holding a can of soda or an energy drink, chattering on about the awesome presenters on this yearís agenda. I kick the shoe from the door and lock the deadbolt before turning to bestow greetings and inform my friends about the bizarre people. Ryker and Jayce are so intrigued by the influx of blonde cyborgs that they rush out of the room to check it out for themselves. Aiden talks incessantly about Sasha, describing her as a beautiful exotic model with fair hair and mysterious eyes that could see into his soul. He wants to go look for her. Britta looks at him with a cocked eyebrow ìWhat is your deal with the robot chick, Darkstar?î ìI am mesmerized, sheís so beautiful. I feel this desperate need to be near her.î Aiden gushes in heated passion. An overwhelming rush of suspicion (and jealousy) floods over Britta and she exits the room with a huff. ìIíll find out for myself what the fembot is afterî she mumbles to herself. Sheís had a crush on Aiden since she first met him but he has no clue, never picking up on her subtle flirtations. His intelligence intimidates her enough to keep from exposing her feelings. ìSasha better keep her hands off of my future husbandî she feels her face turn red, envious that the man she is in love with is interested in another woman. Passing through the lobby Britta notices chaos at the front desk as a lineup of hotel guests clamor in an uproar. Changing course to hear what the commotion is all about, she attaches herself to the back of the crowd. It appears that people are losing their technology for the show; flash and hard drives have gone missing from vendor booths, speakerís rooms and attendeeís pockets. The crowd is growing louder in their demands to speak to Rioís management and heads of security. As the swarm is getting more and more heated, Britta reclaims her path to find Sasha, reaching down to the front of her skinny jeans; phew, yes the flash drive is still in her pocket. Britta is an anomaly in our group, clearly because sheís the only chick, but also because sheís absolutely beautiful. Her strawberry blonde hair brings out the crystal green in her wide set eyes. Sheís a voluptuous braniac amongst a nerd herd of testosterone. About a year ago Ryker made a move on her, mustered the bravery to slip his arm around that taunting waist. Poor guy spent the next three hours in the emergency room, luckily his arm was just sprained and not broken. Sheís a wildcat for sure. I will admit The Blonddragon is one of the best hackers Iíve ever met, definitely an asset to our group. While the others are in detective mode, Aiden and I head downstairs to the registration desk to get our entry badges and conference programs. Two plump older women are checking us in on Alienware laptops and I decide to ask them about the blonde gang in the green shirts that they hired for security; ìIs there some sort of theme this year that I overlooked?î The ladies at the desk look at each other then back at me with looks of complete confusion. No such green-shirted assemblage has been employed to their knowledge. On the other side of the hotel Ryker and Jayce are searching for answers, entering rooms that are off limits to conference attendees. Stumbling upon a room in the basement appearing to be a janitorís closet, the guys ignore the ìStaff Onlyî sign, open the door and slither into the dark room. A flick of the light switch reveals a storage room with cardboard boxes piled high like a wall. Jayce turns around grunting in annoyance, reaching for the knob to leave and continue the hunt. ìWait a secondî Ryker interjected. ìWe donít know what else might be in here. I want to look around some more.î The young men move toward the boxes, heading to the left and right sides of the room. They slide through tight spaces between stacks of boxes. Thatís when Ryker makes a discovery. Jayce hears his friend exclaim ìWhat the HÖî from the other side of a mountain of boxes, causing him to quickly change course to see whatís been found. Slipping through an opening he finds Ryker and the two stand side by side in a cleared area near the back of the space. In the center of the open area hangs a bright light dangling from the rafters, shining directly onto a long, narrow, black box mounted on a solid metal stand. Reaching his hand out to touch the cool rectangle Jayce raises an eyebrow ìDo you think itís a coffin?î he asks cautiously. Ryker takes a step backward and shakes his head, ìNo man. I know what this is. Iíve seen smaller versions of this thing but nothing this complex. Itís an advanced rapid prototyping machine, a 3D printer! Iíve never seen anything with this complexity, not even when I hacked into the governmentís website that houses databases of their inventions in technology.î His hand reaches his chin and he scratches his face in astonishment. After leaving his buddy in the storage room to continue probing, Jayce returns to Rio home base (room 1543) to inform the gang about the discovery. The discussion revolves around the futuristic technology and why it would be hidden in the basement at DefCon. Everyone has input; Aiden read an article about using the tool in human tissue replacement. Jayce proposes that theyíre using the 3D printer to manufacture robots, due to the human size of the machine. Sitting quietly in the orange velour chair near the desk Britta listens intently to the groupsí verdicts. She puts her head in her hands, clutching her hair as if her head were throbbing. Pausing thoughtfully before revealing her own findings, she exclaims ìSomething really weird is going on here. I went poking around too; first, I talked to a few people that had their inventions stolen and they are really ticked. The hotel had to bring in the cops to calm people down. But the strangest conversation I had was when I talked to a housekeeper who swears she saw a spaceship hovering over the parking garage last night.î ìWhereís Ryker?î Aiden piped in while everyoneís mouths hung open over the idea of an extraterrestrial invasion. ìJayce you better take us to see this alien machine.î Scurrying through the hallways of the basement corridors, ducking in the shadows to forego being caught by hotel staff, we arrive at the door with the ìStaff Onlyî signage. Jayce attempts to open but we can see the knob wasnít turning. The compartmentís locked and Rykerís missing. I burst out in a panic ìWe have to get in this room, our friend may be in trouble - he needs our help!î Britta pulls out a pick and a tension wrench from her purse while pushing us out of the way to get to the lock. Her golden hair falls forward over her face as sheís bent, clicking and picking in the keyhole. We guys step back, studying the fine specimen of a female, distracted by her enticingly curvy backside, squeezed perfectly into skintight black jeans. After a few minutes we hear the ìclickî and the door flies open abruptly, jolting us men back into reality. The group moves intrepidly into the room, one after the other, each wanting to see the machine. Iím not the only one worrying silently that Rykerís been captured by aliens who are planning to clone him with the apparatus. Rounding the stacked boxes weíre shocked to find that the areaís empty; the 3D printer is gone. Exasperation sets in and we decide to get a game plan together back at home base. Upon entry we see that Ryker is back at home base and sitting in the ugly orange chair. ìCaptain! Youíre okay!î Britta wails as she leaps like a gazelle to throw her arms around our missing person. ìWhatís happening around here?î Ryker waves his hands ìIím alright, calm down you guys. Boy have I got a lot to tell you.î Jayce burst into the conversation ìThe 3D printer, itís, itís GONE! We didnít know what happened to you man. We thought that aliens abducted you!î ìYes I know the printer is gone, because Iím the one that took it. When you left me in the room I was digging around and heard people coming. I hid in a box and through a crack I witnessed the illicit activity first hand. There are no aliens, well not that Iím aware of. I watched as some government agents approached the machine, typed in some coordinates, and within a few minutes one of those blonde prototypes was fabricated ñ theyíre some sort of a clone built by the NSA to steal the latest technology here at DefCon.î We stand there stunned, listening to the wild tale. Ryker continues. ìI found a hand truck in the loading dock and stole the printer, I have it hidden. Blonddragon, I need you to hack into the machine and locate the operating schematics. Seth, do you still have that OpenSCAD software on your laptop? I need you guys to hack into this thing. I need to make some adjustments.î We burst from the room, hurrying to the abandoned banquet room where the cloning apparatus is concealed. Locking the door behind us Ryker pulls the white linen tablecloth off of the machine as we plug all five of our laptops into the open USB ports to start our work. It takes us an hour before we have the configurations to make our own version of the cyborg using Brittaís DNA. Aiden draws the long straw and is ecstatic about being able to hit the ìstartî button. We will fittingly call our version ìBrittaborgî having programmed her to steal back all of the data thatís been taken by the NSA (National Security Agency) crew. We watch in amazement as the procedure completes, the lid opens and our clone opens her emerald eyes, sits up and exits the compartment. Sheís breathtakingly beautiful, curvaceous with silky strawberry hair and sparkling green eyes. Her lips are a plump pink shimmer. I think Jayce is going to faint at the sight of such a stunning creature. We all stand in amazement. Britta breaks the silence ìWhat have we doneÖ This better work.î Unlocking the door we head out of the banquet room and into the DefCon crowd. As Brittaborg dutifully fulfills her mission we follow her, hiding in the shadows of full length curtains and doorways. We observe her smoothly approach the green polo clones, one by one, leading them out into the alley where she reaches for a secret spot on the back of their heads, immediately dropping them to the ground. Itís like some sort of an ìoffî switch. When the government agents realize theyíve been exposed they flee the scene, speeding away in their black SUVs. Brittaborg then leads us to the room storing all of the stolen data and gear. My friends and I are heroes once the conference attendees realize weíve salvaged all of their missing stuff. This is one year that the NSA will not steal the secrets of DefCon! And on top of it all, I finally have a hot girlfriend. Her name is Brittaborg.